So my girlfriend became curious about this game since I had been playing this longer than any other game she's seen me play. As I showed her a few things she made some really... innocent comments that I wanted to share.
Excalibur: "He was the first one of all of them? So he's the original unicorn?"
Volt: "Look at his dick..."
Mag: "Baby, look at her face... (she doesn't have a face). But look you can see it! (no, that's just a weird blob of energy). But baby how does she run around if she can't see? (none of them have faces though.. so I don't know). Baby. (okay ;_; )
Rhino: "He looks cool. (yeah?) Yeah, like he's about to kick someone's ass."
Trinity: "I like how he looks but I don't like his colors. (Trin is a she). Oh... I guess I should have known from her vagina. (.....where..?) Look! She's got a little thong!"
Frost: "He looks frosty... OH! Do you see his little baby tie???"
Ember: "She needs a bra... and she's pear shaped. (Baby, it's just the cosmetic that makes her thighs look bigger) Wait, I like her mohawk."
Ash: "BABY, WHY IS HE CASTRATED???"
Nyx: "Look at her thong too! What is going on here?? But her hair looks cool though. (That's not hair, it's like her unicorn horn.. sort of). Baby, it's hair."
Loki: "He looks normal. (Really???) He's the most normal looking one there."
Banshee: "She looks like a nun... (...fair enough)."
Sayrn: "She's the one I like right? (Yeah, that's the one you were playing earlier). I do like her, she looks like a unicorn with boobs sewn on."
Vauban: "He's fat with a little dingy... he's trying to over compensate with those lights he has."
Nova: "She's the creepiest one... she looks like a pregnant alien, would you want that in your room at night?"
Necro: "Baby, it's the grim reaper! (Well... that's good i guess, since his whole theme is necromancy). But what does he eat?? He's all skin and bone. (I don't think they eat actually.. but.. uh... damn it, lore...)."
Grineer: "They look like evil turtles."
Corpus: "Baby, why do they put those bags on their head? (That's to protect them). From each other? Are they really that ugly?"
Infested runners: "He looks like Jar Jar from Star Wars! (They're just as annoying too...)"
Infested Ancient: "Could you imagine getting oral from that..?"
